Before getting into the Montana trip I'd like to talk a bit about my relationship with Susan.
I get very nervous when she talks about not being worthy of me. Lately this has led to other statements like I'm not sure if I'm ready for a serious relationship. Those of you who know me can guess my reaction. Fear. Anger. Fear. Failure. Fear. Sympathy. Fear. However right after these statements, I'm told that she can't imagine her life without me and that I'm the best man alive. Susan means the world to me. I'm going to trust in love and believe that it doesn't fail. But for someone who is prized for strength and unwavering loyalty I've never been more afraid in my life.

Montana was fun. Her family is great. Church service was beautiful. The drive was very long. But we persevered.

I'm sorry, I would continue but I'm kind of on edge right now. I can't think straight. I keep waiting for the walls of my life and sanity to close in and fall on me. I just want to love her forever.