Well I had my drug test yesterday for Bloomfield Honda. They are also doing a background check on me as well. If everything turns out ok I should start next Monday as a service writer. Its a good position and has opportunity to makes some great money and plenty of room for growth. In the meantime my first day at the Halloween store is Tuesday. Apparently there is some kind of company policy that says relatives can't work in the same store. So I'm expecting the employment there to be very short lived. Oh well.

I'm trying to understand why I have such a hostile reaction to emotions in myself and other people. Maybe I view them as a weakness, that they get in the way of progressive movement or I just don't understand them or why I or anyone else has them. So thats something I have to work on.

I have been thinking lately that one thing may be a blessing or a curse is that whenever anybody tells me about a situation, feeling or problem I immediatly attempt to find a solution whether requested or not. Add in the hostile reaction to emotions and you have a potentialy disastrous situation. At times my attempts to resolve the situation is viewed as taking the situation and making it about me and my feelings about it. But it very rarely ever is. So now I am trying to continue to be someone that listens well and thats it, just listens and absorbs information and the experiences of the person I'm conversing with. It may take a little while for me to do this. But I believe it is possible. All I ask from everyone is a little patience and direction to let me know when I need to just listen. Thanks.

Sir Te : When it comes to emotions, even great heroes can be idiots.

Agent Smith : Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you do it? Why get up? Why keep fighting? Do you believe you're fighting for something? For more that your survival? Can you tell me what it is? Do you even know? Is it freedom? Or truth? Perhaps peace? Yes? No? Could it be for love? Illusions, Mr. Anderson. Vagaries of perception. The temporary constructs of a feeble human intellect trying desperately to justify an existence that is without meaning or purpose. And all of them as artificial as the Matrix itself, although only a human mind could invent something as insipid as love. You must be able to see it, Mr. Anderson. You must know it by now. You can't win. It's pointless to keep fighting. Why, Mr. Anderson? Why? Why do you persist? Neo : Because I choose to.