I am so over all the bull shit. So very over all the bull shit. Tired of caring. Tired of trying. Its all for nothing. I feel as if nothing I do is enough for myself or Susan. I don't seem to be acting correctly or responding to any situation the way I'm supposed to. In other words its just another day, week, month or what the fuck ever.

Sometimes I feel surrounded by a cold indifference both from myself and people around me.

Shall I become cold again and be void of feeling and treat others with contempt so that they understand how it feels, even at the risk of losing their relationship?
Some people haven't experienced that before, I think maybe they need to learn to have an apprieciation for what it means to be allowed to stand in my presence.

No I shall be lenient and merciful in all of my interactions with carbon beings that I feel at times simply take up my air and annoy the shit out of me.

I am sick again today, but today I actually made it to work and my boss sent me home when he saw how sick I was. At least he knows I'm not faking. However I do start actually writing next week instead of being the service department slave.

Really not happy right now. No not at all.

Othello : Arise black vengeance from thy hollow cell. Yield up, O love, thy crown and hearted throne to tyrannous hate. Now by yond marble heaven, in the due reverence of a sacred vow, I here engage my words.

Sir Francis Walsingham : Madam, if I may. A prince should never flinch from being blamed for acts of ruthlessness which are necessary for safe guarding the state and their own person. You must take these things so much to heart that you do not fear to strike. Even the very nearest that you have if they be implicated.